Some consider shame an emotion. I see it as the result of the consistent withholding of the energy of life’s moments. It is the self inflicted wound of one who does not believe in herself, who sees himself as having no value, who has collapsed under the weight of the unexpressed. When the energies are held they morph into shame which then makes manifest the inner critic to oversee the self flagellation.
Under the formidable weight of sometimes scathing self abuse we can easily send out an invitation to the cosmos to provide more of the same through situations and people. We can also take that pool of lower frequency and send it out to others in our lives by attacking and shaming those around us in an aggressive, unclean way. The energy and the dynamic are insidious and damaging on deep levels to all involved. Yet, it can be moved into and through to find a place of center and clear choice within it.
Shame is the result of intentional energy being directed at us, sometimes purposefully, and sometimes, the more the pool of shame grows, inadvertently. Shame is often the result of a mistake, or uninformed choice, that is witnessed publicly. We feel exposed as defective, like something is wrong with us. Shaming action from the outside is embarrassing, cruel, mortifying, destructive. It is not behavior centered, though triggered by that. It is directed at our being, at who we are.
And since so many of us are already damaged goods from our early years, we take it on and infuse it before we even realize it. Then , we just go about beating ourselves up, finding fault with ourselves, blaming ourselves, seeing ourselves as weak and incapable. It is a vicious cycle that can be devastating and borderline permanent. That is, until we choose differently.
Shame is often perpetuated by self abuse, self compromise, and self-defeating thoughts and actions. We seek to justify the belief and filter our experiences through the jaded interpretation over and over. We massage and grow the inner critic to watch over over every thought, word, and deed, to tell us how f’d up we are. Until we don’t….
We can engage ourselves in shameful behavior to keep doing the “I told you I was defective” dance. We can take the shame out on others, becoming very proficient at shaming them publicly through our witty observations or our put downs, always focusing on them rather than their behavior. And sure, that feels good to the shamed one for awhile…until it doesn’t.
We are designed with a conscience that has the capacity to pierce the illusions we have fabricated into belief and action to give us that necessary and critical glimpse of who and what we really are. Thus shame, in a healthy way, can actually be a pathway into remembering who we are. In these glorious times of fastly evolving transparency and more accurate self-awareness we are actually having the misguided view of self dismantled, though not without a messy bunch of experiences…all necessary to increase our personal accountability to self. Nothing like being force fed the truth.
Bottom line is that we are all good people, direct reflections of the Cosmic Source model. The learnings and the distractions are what they are , providing material to work with, misinformation to weed through, choices to make, and journeys of reclamation and reawakening to be embarked upon.
Shame, though often deeply entrenched in belief and tissue, can be brought to the light of day. The research I have done often says that some of these reservoirs may not ever be processed to regain clarity. I do not know about that. I do know that the more I get clear and release the emotion as it happens, supporting the additional energies that attach to the release, the clearer I become. This clarity translates into living more in a peaceful moment, unencumbered by washes of the past debris. Mistakes are still made, yet they are seen for what they are and learned from. In some ways, this is one of life’s miracles, climbing out of the pen of the past to stand in the infinite possibility of the glorious Now.
Like all of these nuances, the journey of release and clarity begins with information about them and the awareness that can then recognize when they arise. Getting to know the boy intimately is paramount. Knowing the sensations by location and texture allows the proper identification of the emotion. Understanding the nature of the feeling defers the tendency to jump onto the runaway train and step back to choose a healthy alternative.
Notice when shame happens. Step right into it. Determine its source. Look for the tendrils to the past. GO there. Be gentle and loving and forgiving. Know that you can choose self care over self abuse. Know, also, that it can be a winding journey, depending upon the severity of the debris. Consider that the Cosmos wants us to be in bliss-land more often, riding the fantastic roller coaster of emotional flow. The way through it is to go directly into it. Choosing that as your mantra can lead you to your own personal Shangri-la, where the best of you lives in the free flow of the life well chosen.